Visiting-Cards: A Forgotten Tradition Worth Rediscovering
The visiting-card was once ubiquitous, an expectation for making social connections. It has essentially disappeared from modern social practices, but one of our Edwardian guides provides some tips for presenting these cards, and it does make us want to get a stack of our own.
Turning down the corner of a card has two meanings. It means that the owner has left it in person, and also that all the ladies in the house are included in the visit. Supposing a lady has two daughters, we can either leave two cards (one for the mother and one for the daughters) or else one card with the corner turned down. A gentleman's card is never turned down in this way, because there might be young unmarried ladies in the house, and a gentleman must not leave cards on young girls.
Nearly all visiting and card-leaving falls on the ladies of the family, as gentlemen's engagements sometimes prevent them from making calls. A wife leaves cards for her husband, and very often for her sons (supposing the latter to be acquainted with the friends on whom she is calling). If she is calling on a married couple, she leaves one of her cards and two of her husband's (one for the master of the house and one for the mistress). If she is calling on a widow she leaves one of her husband's cards and one of her own, if on a young single lady one of her own.
Visiting-cards should be of good quality but perfectly plain in style. Nothing eccentric looks well on a visiting-card ; one must be content to follow the crowd in this respect. I know one woman who struck out a line for herself with some success, substituting grey visiting-cards for the ordinary white ones. Grey was her passion at the moment, all her stationery being of this colour, relieved by a red monogram–her name in a tangle of letters going down one side of the page. But several of her friends adopted the idea of the grey visiting-cards, so she gave it up after a while. I think there is something to be said in favour of the idea; a grey card is not so easily read as a white one, but it does not soil so easily. Some people have the edge of their cards rounded so as to prevent them getting untidy, but a plain card looks the best.
There were quite a few rules of etiquette and best practices surrounding visiting cards. Turning down the corner of a card, it says, signified that the owner had visited in person and included all the ladies of the house in the visit. For example, a card with the corner turned down could replace multiple individual cards for a family with daughters. Gentlemen, however, did not turn down the corners of their cards, as they wouldn’t dare to inadvertently leave cards for young unmarried ladies.
The responsibility of visiting and leaving cards primarily fell on women. A wife would leave cards on behalf of her husband and sons, depending on the recipients. For married couples, she would leave one card for herself and two for her husband, and for widows or single women, the number varied accordingly. This guide also provides a number of suggestions in terms of taste: visiting cards should be plain and of good quality, with eccentric designs generally deemed inappropriate. While some trends may emerge (grey stock and rounded edges are mentioned here), our best bet would still be the traditional, understated styles that maintain a neat appearance.
This guide, called Etiquette and Entertaining, was published in 1903, when visiting-cards were still very much the norm.
The visiting-card hasn’t disappeared entirely; we now have business cards, which serve a similar purpose, but are restricted to professional relationships. These personal cards, whether for social or professional connections, have a rich history. Originating in 15th century China, such small cards were initially used by the upper class to announce their arrival at someone's home. This historical practice of leaving the card as a notification during a visit was evident by the name itself (“visiting-card”), and its absence is a reflection of how dramatically social expectations have changed, particularly in terms of formality and familiarity.