Is the Emersonian Gentleman Still Relevant Today?
Emerson affirmed that the gentleman is a man of truth, lord of his own actions, and expressing that lordship in his behavior not in any manner dependent and servile, either on persons or opinions or possessions.
Contact with rude people creates or fosters rudeness. Hence the importance of choosing polite associates. It is said that “the Spanish carried with them the seed of the thistle to the plains of South America. In this congenial soil it spread, and covered many square miles with its prickly vegetation. These thistle forests grow so tall and dense that a mounted horseman may be lost in them. They furnish a safe retreat to the jaguar and robber.” A single seed, perhaps, has multiplied, covering and rendering worse than useless sections of fertile lands as large as some of our smaller States. Not unlike this is the spread of corrupt manners.
Those who have the training of the young in their charge should take special note of this fact. In school and out of school, at home and away from home, good manners should be the rule and boorish ways the exception.
Here we have both encouragement and warning when it comes to good manners. Ralph Waldo Emerson is referenced here with his idea that a true gentleman is a man of integrity, who acts independently and is not swayed by others or material possessions. The author then draws a striking analogy: just as a single thistle seed can overrun fertile land, so too can rudeness spread and corrupt the rest of us. This is the central advice: choose your circle carefully and do not dismiss rude behavior too easily. It spreads like wildfire, or weeds, amongst impressionable people. Recognizing this, teachers and parents have particularly important role in cultivating good manners in young people, and ensuring that these values are upheld both inside and outside the classroom.
This excerpt comes from a collection of essays called, Correct Social Usage: A Course of Instruction in Good Form, Style, and Deportment (1907). The essay where it's found is called, “Good Manners,” and was written by Rev. Phebe A. Hanaford.
Hanaford, by the way, was a Christian Universalist minister and biographer. She was also a vocal advocate for universal suffrage and women's rights. Notably, she was the first woman ordained as a Universalist minister in New England and the first woman to serve as chaplain to the Connecticut General Assembly. She was also the first woman in the Universalist Church to pray at an ordination (her son’s), exchange pulpits with him, and officiate at a wedding (her daughter’s).